About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
