I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
