We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize