on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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