Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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