Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
