So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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