he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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