I can tuck mytits in my pants
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
