so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
