My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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