I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
