Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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