Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize