I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
