We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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