Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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