So drunk its hurt
wanna go halves on a baby?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
