whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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