I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
