Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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