girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
