hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
