i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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