Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
