I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
