no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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