you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
