Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
