is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Randomize
