like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
