I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
