Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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