bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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