Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
