i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
