Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
