I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
not ubering you a puppy
How does it feel to date your dad?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
