I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
