Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
