glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
