Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
