I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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