goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just want nice things and good sex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize