I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize