Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
