I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
