We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
