dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
