my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
