Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize