I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
