In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
