No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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