drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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