She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
