Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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