hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
